My story part III (1996-2001)

The Universe by now I realised was constantly showing me it’s grace, that it was supporting me when my actions were for the good and knowing I needed to find a job with accommodation for myself and my daughter who had chosen to come with me, presented me with two gifts in one day! The first sheltered scheme had a dingy flat at the bottom of Harrow on the Hill and the other was in a lovely airy block and came with a two bedroom flat in Rayners Lane. Both jobs were offered the same evening and soon I was in my element as the sheltered scheme manager of a block with 32 flats and 40+ private residents.

Not exactly the exclusive retirement development as there was no communal lounge – I had them meet in my flat; there was no office – I stored the files in my airing cupboard; there was no guest room – so we fund raised and bought a fold up bed !!!! We hired the Harrow Community Transport mini-bus and I loved to drive them to the many theatres in the area to see different shows; to Wisley Gardens; Hampton Court Flower show; pub lunches & afternoon teas; even going up to the Royal Albert Hall to see Madame Butterfly in February 2000 and day trips to Eastbourne & Bournemouth. We had our own in-house weekly lottery syndicate; organised weekly shopping trips and bingo once a month;

We had two wonderful, successful Summer Fun Day’s supported by the local shops with strawberries and cream from Peggy’s kitchen window,; my Dad happily running the tombola; an Extend exercise display made up with at least half a dozen of our ladies; many stalls and a delightful Afro-Caribbean children’s dance group from Wembley who really helped to overcome some well engraved prejudices amongst some of my older ladies. We raised hundreds of pounds over the four years I was there from 1996 – 2001, giving half to charity and using the other half for buying bits & bobs for our own block and gardens.

There was also some other interesting gifts from the Universe with this job in the form of their excellent training days and one on Assertiveness proved extremely valuable.Assertiveness is striking a balance between your own self-respect and the respect you have for others. Positively expressing your own point of view without violating the rights of others were the wise words that I took with me from this course. Another I was already well aware of was on equality and discrimination, however always useful to be reminded again.

I loved my job and as you can imagine, my whole self just blossomed with joy and new found confidence.

This was being added to by another divine gift that I have carried with me from this time which I found within the book Soul Psychology by Joshua David Stone. Where beside his suggestion to keep a journal also told of the benefits of a regular practice of saying a mantra and gave a number of examples to see which one felt right. I chose the Soul Mantra, a beautiful I AM affirmation and must repeat it many times during my day: I am the Soul, I am the Light Divine, I am Love, I am Will, I am Fixed Design.Whenever I feel a bit wobbly and I know that I need divine support this affirmation is one of the quickest soothing balms for me.

The rest of my spiritual life was taking off too and from 1997 I was being Universally directed to some amazing groups of people.

Everyone was doing a Reiki course and I found myself doing my Reiki I and II with a wonderful teacher called Audrey. That was interesting as she had a young woman, Lauren who worked along side her who somehow I just could not get along with – most unlike me who got on with most people.

Lauren was said to have a gift, and for £25, she could go into a trance state and access something like the Akashic records and give people spiritual explanations for any concerns they were experiencing. So I asked Audrey if she would ask Lauren to see if she could see what was this blockage was between the two of us.

It took about 3 long months for Lauren to eventually come back with her report which said “I had been her mother in a previous life as a result of me being raped by the mill owner where I worked!! and as a result of the rape had not been able to give her the love and care a mother should” and this feeling I now felt was obviously the residue of that relationship – it actually made sense!!!”

This was my first association with past lives, and quite honestly, I can remember looking at my current relationship with my own children and thinking ‘well, whatever there was then, had not filtered it’s way through to this lifetime’ and I was able to give Lauren a big hug, apologise and move on quickly.

Anne who had become a good friend from my Raja Yoga meditation course and I joined an Edgar Cayce group. A group of us met regularly at a lovely couples home for about 2 years working our way through the workbook called Pathway to God.  Here we learnt how to observe our thoughts words and actions, realising that literally each have a consequence and the Universe responds accordingly, and to understand & identify that these were created by the judgemental mind, the ego.  Also being given a spiritual exercise to work on as homework between meetings. This was an invaluable, learning time for me.    see the quote by Pam GroutGod is the force field that runs the Universe – we also know that every thought incites change.   Every time we think anything – be it a silent thought – we influence the field of infinite potentiality”

I also heard from somewhere about an inspirational organisation founded by Alice Bailey in the early 1900’s  based on Esotericsm called who had this simple effective prayer network called Triangles, where you linked by focussed thought, to two other people forming your own triangle. At the same time visualising all the other members forming a healing network of triangles across the world in prayer by repeating the Great Invocation –  and also their Prayer of Discipleship. I used this prayer time as my own meditation most days.

October that year, Anne & I were blessed to be invited to join an amazing Womens group in North London for about three years. After one evening at my home with two of these wonderful women who I felt were far more self confident than me, after they had gone I was feeling a bit down however I felt guided and compelled to sit and write my own Personal ValidationI still have the original copy dated November 25th 1997. On it’s completion I marvelled at what I had written and gave thanks as I began to see ‘who I was becoming ‘ and that I had actually accomplished so much,  TYG.

What a year 1997 was turning out to be and it hadn’t finished yet, when in December that year I met my John. I had been invited back again by Winged Fellowship Trust, now known as Revitalise, as a volunteer at their respite care centre for people with disabilities at Netley Waterside in Southampton for their special Christmas holiday week. We both had been there during that summer, however both on different weeks – the Universe is great at pre-planning.

My first glimpse of John saw him wiping away a few tears. The Universe knew how to hook me!!.

John had just heard some sad news from Michael, one of our Christmas guests, whom John had befriended with Michael’s wife on his first visit that summer. This time Michael’s wife wasn’t with him, she was back at home very poorly. Her name was Irene, and Irene had been very instrumental on innocently opening John up spiritually during his summer visit. John still tells this story which is just so beautiful – ask him.

The Universe proceeded to continue to weave its magic between us during that week, with the unexpected bonus of me discovering that John lived in sunny Bournemouth.  What a gift, I had always wanted to live by the sea.   TYG

We had a M25/M3/M27, every other weekend relationship, for the next three years and when I did move in March 2001 I have to say that I didn’t go totally willingly, as I had thought that when my daughter went off to University, I had imagined that I might get the opportunity to experience what living on my own could be like.

The Universe once again knew otherwise and many detailed diary entries in my blue journal for our first few years together, vividly explain that the certainty of me moving in with John wasn’t without resistance on my part. And since we have had many, what we now call our honest intense robust discussions in our quest to understand each other.

My Inspirational Books recount the next couple of years in detail and I began to realise that all these books were actually ‘singing from the same hymn sheet‘, with their own intepretation of the song. This song, interpreted by all these different people , was a recognition that there is a divine intelligence overseeing the chaos which the world portrayed, which we have to learn to trust, surrender to – and as I began to understand the rules of this game called life, my own interpretation was that once learnt, these were not to be selfishly kept for oneself, but to be shared by example and a major part was in service to others. Words like these from Albert Schweitzer only confirmed more strongly for me this belief. – “I do not know what your destiny will be but one thing I do know, the only ones amongst you who will be fully happy are those who have sought and found how to serve”

After our initial encounter at Winged Fellowship Trust John and I went again the following summer and Christmas and enjoyed it so much that we then volunteered for their overseas holidays which were managed by a remarkable couple. The husband Dave, always arriving a week before with his trusted 16 seater blue minibus to do his own thorough reconnaissance so he could plan and organise a great week ensuring it was totally compatible with the clients all with varying disabilities. It was hard work for the volunteers but everyone really enjoyed the comaraderie which was developed during these holidays. For us the most memorable was to Turkey visiting Ephesus and struggling to push wheelchairs without tipping out our passenger over the historic cobble streets there since the 10th century BC. The overseas side of WFTfinished a long time ago however Dave and Debbie still continue to offer personalised holidays with their own company – strongly recommended.

My brother sadly died in 2000.

Part IV  (My John’s Story)